D.I.L.E.M.A

Being mother, is not easy. Well, everybody has known about it. I believe that every mom has their own battle. Eventhough she is a working mom, full timer or part timer, or housewife. Being working mom is not easy either. Well, sometimes people see us as mothers who neglect their kids, having fun at their office, leave their children at home. Mothers who don't want to take care their own children. You know what, it's a tough choice for us. Every morning I need to gain so much power to leave my only son. When he ask me to stay, I have to be brave to say No, and keep going to office. I have to be strong enough not to let my tears fall down. Seeing my baby's face, his begging face and crying, is really hurt me. But, I have to go. I need to go to office, working for him too. I really want him to have what the best for him, the best school, the best toys, the best entertainments, the best holidays, everything for him. While on the way to office, if I see a boy as his age with his mother, I really envy her. I really want to be at her place. Let his son in her lap, hug him, talk and tell him story, kiss him, smell him, seeing his smile, it really torture me. When I arrive at office, I start working and get busy with myself. Why? Because I don't want have a room to think about my son. If he's sick, it's really terrible situation. I keep blaming myself, I really afraid if something bad happen to him. But.. I still have to work. It's egois, but life is not as we ask. I work for my family, helping family economy. Being working mom, is not like i dreamed. I have no intention to become a working mom. I pictured my self at home together with my kids, prepare him before going to school, breakfast together, take him to school, pick him up, have lunch together, teach them at home, play with them. If I should work,my dream was working as a teacher not full time one. But, sometimes we can not have what we wish for....

Now, I have to work hard for my son. Helping family economy. Maybe someday, if my hubby's business expanding, and I don't need to work anymore. I can fulfil my dream :)

Veilicious! The truth beauty is wrapped in a beautiful way...